Domain of Truth

4:58am: Huh. Well. Gary Gygax is dead.
I always get news hours after everyone else gets it. He rolled a critical failure on his fort save, so now he's rolling dice for Jesus, Gandhi, and the black Micheal Jackson. Hope he remembered his +1 mace.

11:35pm: Well, Michigan's gonna be wiped off the map
NO ALCOHOL
NO TOBACCO
NO LAW
ANARCHY ONLY
FINAL DESTINATION MICHIGAN

The college towns alone are going to erupt into fiery pits. We'll have modern-day Duke boys running moonshine across the borders. And I might be able to go 75 on the highway without getting pulled over.

Really, I'm sure this could be bad if it goes on for long, but right now I'm having the time of my life predicting people's reactions. It probably won't last long enough for anybody to take notice anyway.

2:15am: Huh
Robert Jordan is dead, and the chief thing that comes to my mind is that Wheel of TIme will probably never be finished now. Does that make me a bad person?

If so, then so be it. JORDAN! COME BACK TO LIFE AND FINISH YOUR DOUBLE DAMNED BOOK! I READ TWELVE OF THOSE MONSTROSITIES, YOU'D DAMN WELL BETTER TIE IT UP FOR ME!

12:45am: Happy birthday to me
I will now amaze and astonish people, as the 21 year old college student who doesn't intend to go anywhere near a bar on his 21st birthday, or at any particular point thereafter. BE AMAZED!

...

Okay, the restaurant I want to go to for my birthday dinner has a bar, but that doesn't mean I have to go anywhere near it.

6:41pm: To avert boredom...
The evil Tim Curry (Kilokhan) lives inside computer circuits!
With the help of Glen Beaudin (Malcolm Frink), he creates megavirus monsters to attack electronic systems!
Meanwhile, a freak accident turns Matthew Lawrance (Sam Collins) into Gridman (Servo)! His friends join forces in their samurized attack vehicles (helper programs)!
Together, they transform into the SUPERHUMAN SAMURAI SYBER-SQUAD (Lightning Superman Gridman)!

...

Okay, I liked some really fucked up shows when I was younger. Superhuman Samurai Syber-Squad, Samurai Pizza Cats, Power Rangers... I'm noting a distinct pattern here.

2:01am: Gotta love videogames that let you play as the villain
Final Fantasy Tactics Advance. In which game you:
* Beat up cripples
* Re-crippled decrippled cripples
* Destroy an entire semiutopian world
* Kill a friend's mother in front of him
* Genocide several entire species
* Ruthlessly cut down and murder people who attempt to stop the aforementioned mass genocide
* Practice a rather broken moral compass throughout all of this

1:04am: Digg is revolting
I've been saying that for months, no one ever listened. Also, the userbase is rebelling against the administrators over some fucked up HDDVD thing, and people getting banned for questioning it, or some such.

This is why I like LUElinks. Llamaguy doesn't give enough of a fuck to screw any of us over. He barely gives enough of a fuck to ban people who break the rules (all three of them).

12:31am: Cell phoens are now officially awesome.
"My cellphone can take video AND play TV!"

"Oh yeah? Well mine can WIPE OUT HUMANITY AS WE KNOW IT!"


Soemthing to do with interference from cell phones killing bees, thus leading to the end of all human life. The concept is what's cool, not the mechanics.

1:49pm: 2 and a half quarts of kickass in a one gallon jug
In order to avoid the entire problem of "Waiting 3 hours in a crowded Barnes and Noble while the throng of people surrounding me slowly chips away at my sanity", I preordered Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (no comment on the title, except to say that it isn't any stupider than the last six were), from Amazon, expecting that I'd probably get it three or four days after it came out. And I was willing to accept this, although I'd have to avoid hlaf of the interweb that entire time, and probably lock myself out of LUElinks entirely. Now, that problem is averted. Amazon has promised to have the book in my hands on July 21st, 2007, at their expense (Yes, I am certain they are losing a lot of money. Yeah. Millions). Not only is my faith in internet shopping renewed, I'm even beginning to like Amazon again.

6:28am: As stolen from the Kingdom of Loathing forums
"We play a game where everyone is a stick figure. We are followed around by pets called familiars that are either entirely comprised of day-to-day items or completely fantasy oriented puns. We climb beanstalks, fight the undead, hunt yeti's, work with a mafia comprised completely of penguins, celebrate holidays parodying the real including a day devoted to an oyster, use a monetary system based around meat and drive cars made out of the same substance, fish in sewers, negotiate with hermits, derive special gifts from ten (not four) leaf clovers, cast spells with pasta and sauce, conquer witches, collect pins with smiley faces which can ultimately interpret your worth, throw bricks and rolls of toilet paper at people with little repercussion, beat each other up for flowers, ascend through rifts in time and space, summon ghost pickles, trade with bugbears, do battle with constellations, hunt vampires, summon drink garnishes, spend a ridiculous amount of money and time for the ability to wear a shirt, kill hippies, and spend what can be an eternity killing goats for cheese.

Why the hell does it matter that the functions of a freaking umbrella don't make any sense?"

1:36am: A Decleration of Intent
Let it heretoforth be known that the holiday known as St. Valentine's Day, hereafter referred to as the condemned, is to no longer be tolerated or suffered to exist. All forms and manifestations of the condemned are to be terminated with predjudice, and all record of such events stricken. The condemned is to be exiled from this land and calendar until such time as they prove sufficient merit to warrant rescinsion of said exile, or at the pleasure of His Lordship.

Christopher Douglas Trueman I
High Lord of the Lands Between the Closet and the Dresser

5:36pm: Mind status == blown
http://spikedhumor.com/articles/80982/Nintendo_1988_Inside_Edition_TV_news_report_with_Super_Mario.html

A) That's motherfucking Bill O'Reilly, before he had his own show, and while he still had much of what is probably his original hair.

B) The days of the pre-internet, when Nintendo had a phone team. Wow.

C) People who didn't know the name Mario, who is now, according to rumor, more well-known than Mickey Mouse. Huh.

D) The Magic Sword... FUCK YOU MAGIC SWORD! FUCK YOU, FUCK THE RED RING, FUCK GANON, FUCK ZELDA, AND THE FUCKING HORSE YOU RODE IN ON!

Sorry. Reflex. I really hate Zelda 1.

10:27pm: Dammit lungs. What the hell did I ever do to you?

3:06pm: You're walking down an abandoned tunnel in the dwarven mine when you see the oddest group of dwarves you've ever seen walking toward you. Instead of one 7-foot dwarf, they're 7 foot-tall dwarves. They're also chubbier and more rosy-cheeked than your average miner. They see you coming and the one in the lead -- taller than the rest, and wearing a stethoscope around his neck -- shouts a greeting.

"Hi! Ho, adventurer!" He says, bashfully. "Have you seen any diamonds in this mine?"

"What did you call me, doc? And what's a diamond?"

"Y'know, the most valuable mineral in the world... kinda shiny... goes at the top of a pimp's cane?" He says, and sneezes loudly.

"Oh, these things?" You empty your pockets of the pretty, but worthless rocks you've been gathering. Just thinking about how many of them you've picked up makes you sleepy. "Yeah, I keep finding them when I'm looking for something worthwhile -- y'know, meat, linoleum, chrome..."

"Meat? You mean, this worthless stuff?" The dwarf points grumpily to a wheelbarrow full of meat behind him. After very brief negotiations, you agree to a trade.

You happily bounce off, glad to have had a run-in with those dopey dwarves. You feel pretty moxious for trading a bunch of worthless rocks for cold, hard meat.

11:02pm: Asscrackistan?

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! Last Monday I gave elweasablo a life-saving blood transfusion (50 points). Last Saturday I ate my brussel sprouts (1 points). In June I ruled Asscrackistan as a cruel and heartless dictator (-700 points). Last Wednesday I pulled mary_goodnight's hair (-5 points). Last Thursday I helped gyrox10 hide a body (-173 points). Overall, I've been naughty (-827 points). For Christmas I deserve a lump of coal! Sincerely, teh_truthkeeper

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:

I fail to see why helping hide a body loses me points.

1:33am: Welcome to Duel Club
The first rule of Duel Club is you don't talk about Duel Club. The second rule of Duel Club is you don't talk about Duel Club! The third rule of Duel Club is when someone says 'stop' or goes limp, the duel is over. Fourth rule is only two wizards to a duel. Fifth rule, one duel at a time. Sixth rule, no robes, no dragonhide boots. Seventh rule, duels go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule if this is your first night at Duel Club, you have to duel!

You know, the Harry Potter series would be much more interesting if Harry had his own Tyler Durden...

(Files away in potential fanfiction idea storage)

10:13pm: Huh, I voted Republican
Honestly, I never saw that coming. It's the primaries, where they force you to vote for all one party, but still, I honestly didn't see it coming.

12:25am: So I'm 20. Woohee.
Should I be enthusiastic? I dunno. 20 is a pretty useless birthday compared to others in a five year block of time. Let us review.

17- Can drink in parts of Europe
18- Can vote
19- Can drink in Canada
20- Nothin'
21- Can drink everywhere

Mind you, if I actually cared about alcohol, I'd be going to Canada, but my point, whatever it was, remains the same. 20 sucks.

1:25pm: Nothing to say right now, but I felt a sesire to post LUEshi, so here's that LUEshi variant that posts more easily than others for some reason.

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8:13pm: Ow.
You ever notice how it's usually the presence of either massive pain or massive annoyance that makes me write here? I never use this thing when I'm in a good mood.

Make a note. Getting nasty oversized sideways wisdom teeth pulled leaves you in pain for the rest of the week.

11:00pm: Didn't your mother ever give you a Livejournal? WHAT THE HELL IS A LIVEJOURNAL?!
I fucking hate Valentine's Day.

There's no real reason behind this, I'm just bitter due to my incredibly bad luck with girls. I get to thinking. Millions of guys will be out there doing stuff with thier girlfriends, or female friends, or incestual cousins, or what have you. And I'll be here. Probably playing Pokemon, or some other such thing. I am usually never a proponent of guys being kicked in the nuts, but I make an exception for Valentine's Day. On this day, and this day only, kicks to the groins of men with significant others are allowed and encouraged.

...

I'm going to go level my Gyarados now.

11:56pm: A special announcement
Mos Def, AKA Dante Bezé, AKA Dante Smith, AKA Ford Prefect from Hitchhiker's Guide, should play Kingsley Shacklebolt in the next Harry Potter movie, as he is the closest semi-British equivalent to Samuel L. Jackson available. That is all.

Shame that Jackson isn't British, I'd gladly fork over eight bucks to watch him kick Death Eater ass on the big screen.

11:43pm: Why am I terminally whipped?
The only people who ever read this are Maria and Laura, and you both know full well that I can't deny any request a girl makes of me without a supreme force of will that leaves me almost completely drained afterward, right?

Well it's happening again. I talk to a few girls who live down the hall, and as a result, my bed is made for the first time in three months, I spent about an hour or so socializing, and I've made promises to vacuum my room and clean my bathroom.

On the other hand, they were cute, and told me that I should talk to them more often...

Also, must make a note to find that guy I lent my copy of DDR to and get it and my mat back.

1:09pm: No more two week old breadsticks before bed
Odd, vaguely disturbing dreams last night. Can't remember most of them, but I know was in one for a while, and she was taller than me (You know the world ain't right when Maria is taller than someone), and then I think I was the Doom marine for a while in another one, and I teamed up with Duke Nukem and the guy from Quake to fight zombies. We all had shotguns with infinite ammo and chainsaws. And I built something that shot exploding chainsaws. Then a bunch of pirates showed up and killed the zombies faster than we could, and an army of ninja showed up to fight the pirates. Can't rightly remember who won though.

Hmm... I should get some breakfast. Or lunch. Or something.

12:26am: Quiz time
Eric apparantly thinks it's stupid to have a Livejournal. I rather agree with him, but this thing still amuses me, so it's existence will continue.

Also, Apparantly I'm Batman. That's kind of depressing.

You scored as Batman, the Dark Knight. As the Dark Knight of Gotham, Batman is a vigilante who deals out his own brand of justice to the criminals and corrupt of the city. He follows his own code and is often misunderstood. He has few friends or allies, but finds comfort in his cause. </td> Batman, the Dark Knight 67% Captain Jack Sparrow 63% The Amazing Spider-Man 58% Lara Croft 50% The Terminator 46% James Bond, Agent 007 42% Neo, the "One" 42% Maximus 38% El Zorro 33% William Wallace 33% Indiana Jones 29% Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com